The weekend present

What a wonderful end to a week! I had so looked forward to Saturday, if only to end this over-committed, extremely stressful and rather underproductive week. Last night, I could barely see where I was going. Little Kamala thought her amma was "pretending" - she had never seen me so tired before. I'm one of those that chug along and chug along and never give in to their exhaustion until they collapse. I take on more and more tasks, confident I can do them all - and usually I do....except this week I was beginning to think I may be overdoing some things.

"I'm tired, kanna" I say weakly, as she asks why we can't buy her new school shoes Friday night. "I can't even think of shopping tonight"
"But why don't you lie down if you're tired?" she asks, puzzled.
"Because I have to still make sure you bathe and brush and take your allergy medicine. So I cannot sleep until you sleep"

She is in mild disbelief, as I go through the motions of calling it a day. Manage to read her a story to sleep and nod off after that.

The morning is so much better, but the household chores are enough to tire me out again. I resign myself to my low energy state, thankful that at least this is a weekend. I lie down on the couch, as Kamala sits nearby, solving a Bugs Bunny 100-piece puzzle. I start to read a book and my eyes close automatically. I keep jerking myself awake....Somehow I'm not comfortable leaving a 6 year old and sleeping off like that. A few times of this, and Kamala comes and sits by me.

"Amma, do you want to take a nap?"

I smile and say I feel like it, but can't. She looks at me thoughtfully.

"Are you still tired?"

I nod, closing my eyes - and telling myself I can keep my eyes closed and still not sleep. A couple of minutes later, I feel a cool little hand on my forehead...I must've dozed off again. The hand caresses my forehead and hair and it feels so blissful..... Then out of the blue I hear

Chinnanchiru kiLiyE kannamma
Selva kaLanjiyamE...

And there was my child, singing my lullaby back to me....My child has momentarily become my parent, and was trying to do her best to put amma to sleep....Midway through the song, she falters, tries a couple of times and gives up. Then I hear

enna thavam seidhanai - Yashoda
engum niRai parabrahmam...

And I'm in heaven. I pull the child close, hold her in my arms, and thank her for the songs. In all my tired moments, I'd never once imagined being nurtured by my own child. What a wonderful end to the week!