Decades ago, I held a piece of paper
Made it into a boat - a small paper boat
To float on a big puddle
I cheered it on - as it set sail
Happy it began its journey
Eager to see where it went
Some minutes later, soggy and wet,
It overturned, got swept under
It fazed me - but only for a moment
I returned with a child's enthusiasm
Tried again and again
More sheets of paper - many more boats
More cheering, then a sad, wrenching moment
For they all went - like the first one did
My first lesson in facing disappointment
**
Years ago, I held a piece of paper
A cherished one - very close to my heart
I put it safely away, glad I had it
From then on I tried, with all my might
To preserve its sanctity...until one day
I realized - it had become just paper
A simple sheet of paper - a mere memory
Of an illusion I had held onto
Of something that never existed
The day I got my divorce
I turned it over in my hand
The document that was now obsolete
And made a paper boat of it....
It floated on a puddle, till all the words
Blurred and then sank altogether
24 comments:
Heart wrenching.. priya. :(
Hope you feel better.
Everything is for the good..
((-----Hugs-----))
hi a very gud one...
come on sister, life has to go on. I had experinced this. Almost evy1 have at some stage in their life...sometimes i wonder...after few yrs...after i get married, one fine day, after waking up, with my partner still asleep, myself thinking of my past....of my gal whom i loved more than any1 else....wondering wher she is...with whom....whether she is still smilin like before....whether she is still in that beautiful home in that beautiful place called jewel of india.....sometimes i too think .........but life goes on...and on...
Priya,
Its a long time since I commented in your blogs though I read all of them.
My heart goes out for you.But we all learn something out of every experience no matter how painful they are.
May God give you the strength and courage to face all the challenges and hardships that life brings.
Love and Hugs,
Raji
you should write more food posts. Luv them..
sk - thanks for the hugs. Sometimes odd things come to mind...don't know why.
Deepesh - welcome! True, life goes on. But we've lost a part of ourselves back in that relationship, and sometimes the mourning is just that: for a phase in life, or for the part of ourselves that is gone. No matter how many loves one gets further along, a relationship is a soul connection that lasts in some form or another. Even if the breakup is official, and the romance isn't there anymore.
Raji - thank you for the sweet comment. Most of the time, life is peaceful - thank God. But odd things have a way of bringing up stuff. The mind examines, mourns a bit - remembers and smiles some. Sort of like looking at a dried rose preserved in a book. A bittersweet feeling.
Priya.
Anthony - welcome! Thank you :). I've visited your food blog and drooled at the pictures often.
Priya.
Priya,
Not fair! I have been chaecking your blogs regularly and nothing happens.. i am away for a week and it comes to life!
Paper boats are just that da... paper boats... loads of promise and very little substance. I tore my piece of paper and threw it where it belonged. The memory of the paper lingers on and I do want to get rid of it. It is difficult and as you said - a integral part of me now. I am sure you are handling this well and all you need is a good huggg when you have these thoughts coming to your mind.
Hugg from me too!
take care.
love,
dooks
This is the first time Im leaving comments here....
I jus dont know what to say....
:(:(
Hugs from me tooo...
don't know what to say...except take care...
luv
ardra
Hi priya
ya we lose a part of ourselves in a relationship...and i dunno y it has to be the one dumped ends up worrying while th eother is happy.
Anyway keep blogging...BTW where is the "Long distance lover" that many are commenting about...is it in suleka or here?
Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Until I came to the comments section, I was hoping that this poem was not autobiographical...
..but it is.
Very painful to read, the way you expressed it. I won't judge the emotion behind it, but just the poem: brilliant!
Dooks: Nice perspective - "loads of promise and very little substance". How true!
Sigmund: thanks. Glad you liked it.
Arul: welcome! Thanks for the hugs, that's kind of you.
Ardra: thank you. You too.
Deepesh: I think when a relationship ends, it doesn't matter who ended it. Its a sad situation either way. The other blog should be in the archives (July?), and also on Sulekha.
Vinesh: welcome! Thanks for the kind words.
Priya.
What has happened doesn't change...but how we look at them does! Wish you all the best in the process of overlaying painful memories with happy ones,that enables u to see things differently! Because you & your loved little one deserves them!
Thanks, Motorama! I like to read your perspective on things. For the most part, I am a happy person, and try to give my daughter as good a life as she can have.
Some things resurface in our minds no matter what - some bitter, some sweet, some bittersweet. Blogs are a way to release those thoughts which I won't otherwise express. They are a creative outlet too.
Priya.
Big Hug Priya...
Take care honey :)
vi
Came to your blog directed by another blogger
http://gladtomeetin.blogspot.com/
To read your Jan 1st post on friendship . I had been going though a lot of confusion and trouble but your thought on friensdhip cheered me up I did not want to comment on a obselete post so when u comment on a post i though i will read Paper Boats .All the happiness that the friendship post gave me , all the clarity that I had faded away after I read Paper Boats.
I offer no sympathies and I would not say Everything is for good ..
I have had a smilar experience of very small magnitude .I asked GOD "Why me ?? " ..but then i realized I did not ask him "Why me ??" when good things happened to me .
For some life is a bed of roses and for some it is full of struggle's and dissapointments .Expectation of what lies ahead of us pushes us to moove away from the past .
shiv shankar: welcome! Nice point about looking ahead. Thank you :)
It made me think about whether I've moved on. I have. Its human nature to think of what we held precious in the past, and what we lost. Doesn't mean one is stuck or brooding on it constantly. Expressing this helps some people acknowledge it, and then move on. Glad you liked the blog on friendship.
Priya.
vi: thank you, and a hug back :)
Priya.
Priya,
This poem is so sad and beautiful. I tried also to comment on your most recent post but the blog administrator wasn't allowing comments. I hope everything is OK- I am sending you my best healing energy. Your latest post is a striking illustration of what a father-daughter relationship can be, in its ideal state. Thank you for sharing your incredible life hurdles with your readers.
Hugs,
Betty
Priya...I tried to post on latest, but could not. I hope you are okay chica. Let me know. Also, your father-daughter piece is so very compelling (as is this poem) - and is beautifully written, like all of your musings. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing.
Ciao for now bella...
Teri
Hey priya sis...hope every ting is fine...am prayin for u...for the promise...ur posts r touching...something that i am experiencing, but never been able to put on paper,....often think of giving up....life is too boring...and evything that i desperately needed was gone....but just want to hang on...dunno y...dun know where i m going...22 yrs but helluva lot problems and heartbreaks...hugs sister and ll pray 4 u and ur family!
hope i can cal u sis...i don ve any siblings to cry to...take care...c u...lotsa love.
O Priya!
((( )))
Prayers for your dad. And this post- was it inspired in any way by the arugula one of Teri's?
Betty - thank you for the healing energy. At this time, I really need it. That story, unfortunately, is a bit too close to home.
Teri - thanks - you are so kind.
Deepesh - thank you. Sure, you can call me sister. Glad to have a new brother.
Shankari - thanks for the prayers. I have been out of blogging for a bit, and haven't read any blogs. I don't remember an arugula post of Teri's. Is this a recent one?
Priya.
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