Ha! Why didn't I know this before....neato answers delivered with neato precision. With all honesty and panache - and no illwill towards anyone. True kid style.
I'll present the full story scene by scene for clarity. The initial scenes feature Kamala (my now 6 and then 4-year-old kid) and Billy, her classmate. Billy is a sweet kid whose face lights up the minute he sees me dropping Kamala off at their pre-school. Usually runs over to her and gives her a welcoming hug.
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Scene I: Place - Little Angels Montessori
Time: 2 years ago
People: 4 year old Kamala, and Billy, a classmate
Setting: Playground, with Pre-Kindergarteners playing
Kamala: Ok Billy, we have a sandcastle now. Place this rock on the top. Yes....yes, like that. This is a lighthouse now, see Billy?
Billy: (quiet, not saying anything)
Kamala: Billllyyy, hey!! Are you listening to me? Stop staring at me, okaaay?
Billy: (says nothing)
Kamala: (a little angry) Hey Billy, I said okaaaay?
Billy: Ok, ok....(finishes sandcastle. Then suddenly looking up) Hey Kamala, will you marry me?
Kamala: (is taken aback but manages to retain her poise) Ummmm....I don't know. Lemme think about it. Ok, sandcastle game over - let's go play on the monkey bars.
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Scene II: Setting - Home
Time: that evening
Kamala: (finishing milk and wiping mouth) Amma, you know what happened in school today?
Me: No. What happened?
kamala: Billy asked me to marry him.
Me: (trying hard not to burst into laughter) Is that so? Hmmm. That's interesting..... What did you tell him?
Kamala: I don't know what to say - so I told him I'll think about it.
Me: (suppressing a smile) Mmhmm. Are you thinking about it now?
Kamala: Nah. (waves it off) I tried, but its boring. Can I go get my coloring books now??
Me: Ok.
====
Scene III: Setting - home
Time - next day - bedtime.
I finish reading Kamala a story. Then remember Billy.
Me: Hey Kamala, what happened to Billy?
Kamala: You mean you know he got into trouble?
Me: He did? No, I don't know that.... About your marrying him....(nudge her, and smile) what did you say?
Kamala: (shrugs) Oh, I just told him he's not Indian so I cannot marry him.
Me: I see. That's interesting.....Was he sad?
Kamala: I don't know....he just walked away. But he bit Robert who tried to play with me and got in trouble with the teacher for that.
Me: Huh....Didn't know he bites kids. (a little concerned) Does he ever bite you?
Kamala: No...Sigh! You see Amma, this Billy is a little weird....Bites any boy who comes to play with me, ugh!....But he plays nice with me.
(Aha! A jealous suitor.....very interesting. I smile to myself, switch off the lights and go to sleep)
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Scene IV: Time - two years later. A weekday evening, last week
Place - home
People: 6 year old Kamala, and me
Kamala: Amma, this Amar is annoying me.
Me: Why?
Kamala: He says he wants to marry me. Uggghhhh! This keeps happening to me again and again. Last week Mark wanted to marry me....and now Amar. I don't want to marry anyone. Why don't they leave me alone, ughhh!
Me: (trying not to smile) Its ok, Kamala. He's just teasing you. Don't mind him.
Kamala: But he keeps on saying that. Ughhh!
Me: (smiling) Kamala, just change the subject and go play on the slide or something.
Kamala: (thoughtfully) Okay.
====
Scene V: Time - next day evening
Place - home
Kamala: Amma, listen. I tried to ignore Amar but he won't quit bothering me.
Me: (absently) Hmmm, what about?
Kamala: I told you - he wants to marry me.
Me: (fully alert now) When did he say that?
Kamala: When we played with some dolls at recess.
Me: Well, ask him to marry one of the dolls and leave you alone! Haha!
Kamala: (impatiently) The dolls are my children, ammaaa! He says he's my husband and the babies are his kids too.
Me: Hmmm.....maybe he just wants to play with those dolls.....hey, you know what? He can be something else. Say, their pediatrician - like your Dr.Sinha.
Kamala: I told him that already, ok? He says he's the kids' father and their doctor. Ugh!!!
Me: Hmmmm. That's a difficult one.....Maybe he wants to play with the dolls as much as you. Ok, how about he being the teacher for the dolls? Or the principal, maybe?
Kamala: Ugh! Everytime I say something like that he says I'm that and the dolls father...I was really mad today. Anything I say and he adds and the father - ugh, ugh, ugh!!
Me: Oh...well! (suddenly getting an idea) You know what? He can't be the pediatrician and the father.
Kamala: Why not?
Me: Because doctors can't prescribe medicine for their own kids...
Kamala: Why?
Me: It's complicated - you see, they may get too worried and give the wrong medicine or something....so they have that rule. So the doctor's kids always go to another doctor.
Kamala: I don't get it.
Me: Sigh! Kamala...just tell him that, okay? Amma has other stuff to do kanna, so run along and play!
====
Scene VII: Time - next evening, as we are finishing dinner at home
Me: So what happened to Amar?
Kamala: Huh?
Me: About the dolls..... did he agree to be their doctor or no?
Kamala: Sigh! I told him that - but he kept saying (makes a face) and the father. Ugh!
Me: So?
Kamala: (shrugs, and gets up to wash hands) I told him we're divorced.
Me: ?????!!!!
(aside: didn't I say 'neato delivery'? Where do kids learn to talk like that?)
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