Mother's Day is Coming

We don't celebrate Mother's Day in India - at least we didn't while I was growing up. We had lots of sayings exalting the mother and motherhood in general.

Maatru devo bhava...

goes one shloka. Mother is God. We have a similar saying in Tamil,

Thaayir siRandha koyilum illai

No temple is as sacred as the mother. Another one:

Maata Pita Guru deivam

Godliness in manifest in the Mother, the Father, the Teacher and the Almighty - in that order. The Mother is always mentioned first.

In the US we have Mother's Day celebrations. Shops wear a festive look with Mother's Day merchandise. Telephone companies have a classic problem called Mother's Day Problem - the volume of phone calls on this day test the line and wireless capacity. Movie theaters advertise "Buy one ticket, get one free" deals for mothers who bring children for a movie on Mother's Day.

In the same spirit, there is a tag going around about motherhood and what one likes about it. Nice to have something positive going around in these days when one only hears of the Swine Flu going around! Shankari tagged me to write about the top five things I like about being a mother.

I thought about this, and the things that came to mind are pretty basic, actually.

Scent is #1: the scent of a baby's skin is something indescribably endearing - try smelling a newborn, and you'll see what I mean (no diaper jokes please). Every person has a scent, and the scent of one you love can be incredibly comforting. In India children would sometimes sleep very well when a mother's saree is used as a blanket. Makeshift baby hammocks called thuLi in Tamil, are usually made from an old saree of the baby's mother. The baby is gently rocked in this hammock, and the mother's scent soothes the baby enough to ensure sound sleep.

Touch is #2: the hugs, the kisses, the high fives, the sleepy cuddles....sometimes you can guage a child's mood merely by the child's touch. Sleepy cuddles are the best when child and parent are the most mellow.

Sound is #3: any parent can instantly recognize their child's voice on the phone. And feel a rush of emotions - parents of teens may nod sarcastically here :). The cry of a baby, the babble of a toddler....a whole range of sounds, in all decibels and frequencies. ThirukkuRaL, the Tamil classic says,

kuzhal inidhu yAzh inidhu enbar
tham makkaL mazhalai sol kELAdhavar

Sweet are the sounds of the flute and the lute, say those who have not heard the sweet speech of their toddlers. Basically according to the ThirukkuRal, nothing is sweeter than toddlerspeak. To this I will add a corollary: sometimes nothing is more frustrating, when they are throwing a tantrum and cannot say clearly why they are upset :).

Under sound also comes reading to my child. This started when she was a baby and continues (touch wood). My favorite part of the day is bedtime, when we read and go to sleep. Soon she will grow up, and we may not get this time. Let me cherish it when I can.

Random humor/fresh perspective is #4: You are rushing to drop off your preschooler who is late for school. Preschooler dawdles in parking lot, staring at something. You realize she is staring at a bird coming in and out of the designs on a wrought iron fence, and marveling at the beauty of this movement. You stop to watch despite growing impatience - but gain an appreciation of things you haven't bothered to notice.

Random humor in our house is very Dr.Seuss. "Amma, quit trying to be funny!", Kamala will wail when she wants me to be serious about something. To this my reply would be something like "Quit trying to be a bunny!". Makes no sense, but we laugh anyway.

Trust is #5: A child's trust is absolute. They believe we have all the answers and that's a pretty powerful - if scary - affirmation. When Kamala was younger she followed me around, and tried to do everything I did. She thought I was the coolest person on Earth. Now that is changing, but she still thinks I'm cool in some ways. I better hang on to that while it lasts :)

Sometimes the trust is a parent's undoing: we don't have all the answers, and children have trouble understanding that. Parent and child struggle through and reach a resolution....hopefully a working one. Whatever else happens, I hope the trust and the bond remain, and the sharing due to the inherent trust remains. That is all one can wish and hope for.

Now I will tag Scarlett, whose mother-daughter posts I have enjoyed reading. The other mothers I want to tag have already been tagged. The original tag started here.