A woman from Mars

A few days ago, I chanced upon a post by one of my blogger pals, Libran Lover. Poor LL, in utter frustration, wrote a post titled I hate women.

On some days, I can fully empathize with LL's frustration. There are days when the women of my household spin my head.....Perhaps because I have to be in a masculine mode most of the time as a working single mom. My mother lives with us these days, and when I come home, I deal with two "women" - Kamala and my mom. I am their hunter-gatherer, and protector - the one to whom they vent their stresses. If they need anything, they only have me to turn to. They get competitive: Kamala is used to having me all to herself, and resents my mother's speaking to me even though she loves her grandmother. My mother, still recovering from the loss of her husband of over four decades, looks to me for strength and companionship. When Kamala pushes her limits, my mother comes to me.

I forget my feminine side - one that simply listens to women and does nothing, allowing the mood to pass. I try to "solve" their problems and end up with ire for trying to fix the problem. And this, I realize is men's singular complaint - that their well-intentioned efforts land them in deeper trouble!!

Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus.....At times, I am a woman from Mars :)). My role does that to me. The women in my household can let loose their feminine moods: they can vent, unleash their stresses on me, but where do I go?

Some days I end up reacting like a typical man: by asking them to leave me alone, to give me some space to think....The end result of this is one sorrowful lady, and one sulking kid.

Some days my own moods overcome me. I am not a "suitable man" - this is a role ill-suited to me. For instance, when planning for a natural disasters like hurricanes and storms, I cannot be calm like a man. Outwardly I am calm. But I worry like a woman: wondering how to protect my family, whether I will have everything in order, whether I will forget some detail.....And how the heck do I hammer down 17 sheets of plywood into place?

On top of this I have to calm down the two women in my family. Is this what men face? Are they just as scared when a force of nature threatens their family? Is the calmness only outward?

Being a man can be exhausting when you're not born one.

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During such moods, men are a solace to hang out with, as friends. They have a different kind of energy from women, and it is a change to be around them after getting "pounded" by the women in my household. But the perplexing thing is, sometimes even they expect me to be "feminine".

A male friend of mine blurted out once, in utter frustration at my direct way of stating things: "Women should be like women!!"

Bud, I would love to be a womanly woman. There are no knights in shining armor in my life at this time. I have forgotten what it is to be protected, cared for, and cherished. I don't know how to leave the "protection" mode to another, and rest easy. I would if I could. I would love to dress beautifully and walk gracefully in the silk sarees that are lying neglected in a trunk in my closet....I know how to. Except if I have to run errands and lift heavy loads, a silk saree won't be the appropriate attire.

I dress in jeans. On good days I remember to wear ear-rings and lip gloss. If "demure" is your definition of woman, I cannot afford to be that......If I speak indirectly and hint at things, I can never get anything done. If someone gives me nonsense, I have to battle them in no uncertain terms - I don't have a man to do it for me.

I guess I have to resign myself to being a Woman from Mars.